Don't you wonder sometimes // About sound and vision?

YEP

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 04:11:26 GMT

Covered in layers of black
Your darkness holds me in like a voluntary prison
You hold on like you care
I'm stuck in a labyrinth
Gaunt and beautiful beyond comprehension
You body matches mine
Yet you are so different
I make you uncomfortable
But when they leave, you change
Solitary in the corner
An occasional smile
Elusive and familiar
Take me into your fantasy world
Lock me up in your prison of black

Xeno...

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 21:29:45 GMT

My rat died today of a tumor.

Happy Halloween!

...eh

.............

Dear Life,

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 22:21:52 GMT

Learn to catch up. I am about to lap you.

-Becca

You're never there....

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:46:40 GMT

I'm annoyed that I am never home.

I leave for work at 11:24am, it takes me 45 minutes to get to Berkeley through the hills, c/o the 7 bus. Than I have about 40 minutes to eat and use the internet. I start work at 1:00pm. I work until 10:00, by that time, everything is closed, all my fogie friends are tired and I decide to go home. Bart runs less after 9 or something, so I often have to wait 20 minutes for my bart train. I get home at about 10:30-ish, than I have the 20 minute walk home, I usually wait for the bus though. Long story short, I usually get home between 10:45-10:55. By this time I am tired from a long days work and lots of commuting.

I usually go to bed right away, and sleep in until 9:30, I than have less than 2 hours to get shit done before I go to work again. That includes cleaning, grocery shopping, feeding my babies, and sometimes if I'm feeling selfish I will play drums for 20 minutes. Usually I don't even have time to shower.

Repeate this cycle Tuesday through Thursday. Than Friday I work at 8:00am in the morning. The 7 bus doesn't run early enough so I have to leave home atleast an hour early to get to work on time. So obviously, Thursday nights are ruff, work late...than work early. Than Saturday I work early again as well.

Than, my weekend...
Saturday evening always seems to be packed hard, only problem is I'm exhausted from work. I usually start my weekend, Sunday and Monday, waking up with a hang over. Sundays I generally go to San Francisco, down town and the Piers...in which I get drunk again and marvel at the beauty of life. Mondays the day I buckle down and get shit done, grocery shopping and therapy. My friends all work Mondays and can't even do anything in the evenings. So Mondays are generally dull.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen...my week.

I am almost never home, and it's getting on my nerves!! Yet when I'm home, I have time to think and confront, and I get anxious.

As weird as things are, I feel like karma is finally smiling down upon me.When I was in SF last weekend, I got trashed and went to the wax museum, I talked to the wax models. I was there late, so I had the place to myself. I danced around and touched the models, strangely, no alarms went off. I read every plaque, and either gave the finger or a thumbs up to everything. I than proceeded to the beach at Ghiradelli where I danced in the cold bay sand, no cops bothered me. I danced with no inhibitions with the huge bright Ghiradelli sign behind me, I even collected some of the sand in a little drug bag. After that I went to Ghiradelli square and had myself a huge cookie Sunday. That day I purposefully planned to be full of decadence. I watched the street performers, walked along the beach, bought myself delicious food and a gargantuate dragon puppet named Scotty French.

Point of my rant, I want to live every day like that. A stuffed animal in one hand, cotton candy in the other....the scent of a cosmo on my breath, no need for a CD player, life provides me a sound track. I love making kids laugh and smile. It's become a tradition to go to SF with my Chewbacca back pack. I like little kids coming up to me asking if they can "pet my monkey."

This weekend is packed, no holding back.

Sorry

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 19:31:20 GMT

I've had it up to here.

I really want to go off an a angry rant and drop names and burn bridges, but thats really a bad idea.

HI

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 20:09:02 GMT

I really need to go out and talk with somebody. I just need to talk, over a coffee or a beer...I don't care.

Stockholm Syndrome

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:47:04 GMT

This is what Al says I have...

Stockholm Syndrome describes the behavior of kidnap victims who, over time, become sympathetic to their captors. The name derives from a 1973 hostage incident in Stockholm, Sweden. At the end of six days of captivity in a bank, several kidnap victims actually resisted rescue attempts, and afterwards refused to testify against their captors.

While some people are suggesting the recent Elizabeth Smart kidnapping sounds like a case of Stockholm Syndrome, the most famous incident in the U.S. involved the kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst. Captured by a radical political group known as the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974, Ms. Hearst eventually became an accomplice of the group, taking on an assumed name and assisting them in several bank robberies. After her re-capture, she denounced the group and her involvement.

What causes Stockholm Syndrome? Captives begin to identify with their captors initially as a defensive mechanism, out of fear of violence. Small acts of kindness by the captor are magnified, since finding perspective in a hostage situation is by definition impossible. Rescue attempts are also seen as a threat, since it's likely the captive would be injured during such attempts.

It's important to note that these symptoms occur under tremendous emotional and often physical duress. The behavior is considered a common survival strategy for victims of interpersonal abuse, and has been observed in battered spouses, abused children, prisoners of war, and concentration camp survivors.

Dance tonight

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:12:21 GMT

More evidence that the Beatles have an amazing healing power.

(&*^&#$#!@!>_+)_)#$@+_<%#

I don't know what to say

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 04:05:03 GMT

DOOOD

Fuck this shit.

I'm too fine to be dealing with this!!!!!!!!!!

Lita

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 16:16:40 GMT

One of my kittens died...

Mmmm...

Thu, 24 May 2007 16:20:41 GMT

I have 2 adorable kittens right now...
who love to shit all over each other.

Metaphor for my life?

.

Sun, 06 May 2007 12:40:15 GMT

Why can't anything ever be solid?

Como?

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 00:24:31 GMT

Miguel told me I should be grateful because now things are simpler again.

Simple? How??

MEEHHHHHHH.

Loving fully

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:01:55 GMT

I'm silly-sick in love. Or getting there. BWAH!

Somebody slap me across the face, really hard. Than stomp on my big toe. Wake me up. Snap me out.

Everything is wonderful now

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 04:32:06 GMT

I'm totally crazy coo-coo bananas for Al.

And it feels great.

Sooo...

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:27:58 GMT

Don't know what to say...

I'm applying for jobs.
JUST finished my taxes.
I'm getting better, but Joey is now sick.
Sarah is out of town, how will I manage??
Al is my boyfriend now.
Chaos ensues.
I love Manny and Pirate.
I want to foster a kitten.
Today I want to dress really flashy and colorful.
Matt got out of jail, thank gawdallmighty.
Things are jelling, but at the same time I'm getting sucked into another storm.
It's like being drunk and stoned at a concert in front of the amps.
Everyone is moshing and pushing me, but somehow I manage to stay standing.
I smile.
Don't knock me down you fuckers.

Actually, I did know what to say...

Unh

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 16:01:53 GMT

I hate it when you lie.

I can't shut up

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 22:47:15 GMT

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

The Devil's water it aint so sweet,
you don't have to drink right now
but you can dip your feet in,
every once in a little while.

It's very creepy how accurate this song is to the past month. And it's on the radio all the time. WTF life.

Also, the Humane Society fired me.

I'm such a dork

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:57:25 GMT

My sense of humor is so simple.

Take a silly picture of an animal.
Make it say something crazy in bad English, misspelled.
I will laugh for days.

Forget spontaneous combustion! This is it!

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:28:26 GMT

On average, sharks kill 15 people a year.
On average, falling coconuts kill 10 times that many people a year, so thats 150.

Of all the ways to die, a falling coconut has to be the funniest!

I hope I go out that way!!!!!!!!!!

Cast the pearls aside

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 06:33:38 GMT

Love is suicide.

I'm depressed, and this makes me happy

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 07:58:49 GMT

I forgot how much I love this guy.

Soy Bomb, not Bob Dylan.

I love random weirdos.

A new start

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 18:22:24 GMT

It's Becca's new Livejournal!

Most entries will be friends only, so if you want to be in the know, leave me a comment to be added.